My 24th Revolution Around the Sun

Life is… Unpredictable

Rui Yi Gan
3 min readAug 7, 2024
My Backpack with the backdrop of Tromsø (Photo by Author)

The Story behind the Cover Photo

This photo was taken in Tromsø, Norway, back in October 2023. I went to Tromsø with a good friend of mine when I was doing an overseas internship in Stavanger, Norway. We parted ways that morning, and I followed his advice to visit The Arctic University Museum of Norway. I remember stumbling across this beautiful serene coast on my way to the museum and was immediately captivated by the scenery. The sky was almost clear that morning, and I was greeted by a huge body of Arctic water with the snow-capped mountain range serving as the backdrop. There weren’t many people around, except for a few joggers and one man canoeing in the Arctic sea. I remember spending a good hour or so soaking in both the view and the feeling. Good times :)

Looking back at the Past

3 years ago I wrote an article titled My 21st Revolution Around the Sun. If I am not mistaken, this article was written before my enrollment in university. It was a different time and a different me back then. Reading the article gave me a glimpse of my idealistic self from that period.

Yes, I started YouTube. I started it with a simple aim: Care Less.

Growing old feels scary when I was not actually growing within.

I love the spirit back then! It was a mixed of wittiness and bravo. It will be a blessing to be able to speak to myself 3 years ago.

The 3 Years

The past three years have been transformative, to say the least. Last year was one of the best years of my life, and I am incredibly grateful for it, as many stars had to align for it to work. While last year has been the highlight of my past three years, my first two years in college have been important and essential nonetheless. If it weren’t for the struggles and hard work of my first two years, I would never have had my third-year experience. The late-night grind, the constant search for internships and hackathons, and midnight runs somehow built a foundation for me to leverage.

Unfortunately, even after having three years of additional experience and wisdom, I have backtracked with regards to my life’s purpose. Three years ago, I wrote:

Overall, I’m happy to say that I am confident with life. I have better sensing of my passion, interests, and direction. I am more certain of the kind of life that I want to live moving forward.

Conversely, my confidence in life has gone down, as has my certainty about the kind of life I want to live moving forward. With graduation happening in a year’s time, I am at a loss as to where I want to be in a year and what I want to do.

Oddly enough, this constant uncertainty in life has made me somewhat more comfortable with uncertainty. Bit by bit, I am slowly comprehending the unpredictability of life. There were many missed opportunities and foiled plans along the way, but an equal number of new opportunities sprang up when I least expected them. However, having faith in uncertainty and randomness almost seems suicidal. How can you trust something that has no pattern or reason? I don’t know.

However, there’s someone I think I can trust, and that’s me, both in the past and the future. This might sound narcissistic, but I’ve come to realize that regardless of the decisions I’ve made in the past or will make in the future, each decision was made by me for a reason. The reason might be based on logic, intuition, or gut feeling. It may not be perfect or even entirely right, but I think that’s okay. There’s no point in wondering what my past self was thinking.

Instead, trust the decisions of your past selves and trust the actions of your future selves.

This brings me some certainty and comfort with life.

To my past self, thank you. Thank you for living life the way you did. To my future self, all the best. Of course, it would be great if you’ve figured life out. But if you haven’t, I hope you’ve had a good life so far. :)

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Rui Yi Gan

I enjoy writing about life, college, and everything under the sky. Computer Science student in Singapore and a big fan of Conan O'Brien and Rick Riordan.