Trying to Make the Right Decisions: A Personal Take
A Dive into Finding the Right Decision in a Noisy World
The Right Decision
A couple of days ago, a close friend of mine asked,
How do you know if you’ve made the right decision? Is it a strong feeling where you just know it feels right, or is it through careful logical evaluation?
He was making a decision that would affect the trajectory of his career and wanted to be cautious. I thought about it for a while, digging into my memories for instances where I had to make choices and examining how I arrived at those decisions.
One example came from last summer, when I was choosing between an internship at GovTech or SAP. I was very fortunate to receive offers from both and had a hard time deciding between them. From my conversations with the interviewers, I felt that the team at SAP was more senior, and there seemed to be more learning opportunities there. However, because of the “perceived prestige” among my peers and the significant difference in salary, I ended up going with GovTech. So I told him, “I had clear criteria, which I prioritized, and that’s how I know I made the right decision.”
But did I really?
As I was justifying myself, I paused and wondered again. I don’t believe my decision was wrong, but I’m not sure it was entirely right either. While it seemed logically sound, looking back, it felt “influenced.”
Did I make the right decision for me, or the right one as perceived by others?
If I presented this choice to most people (which I did with my peers), I think they would have chosen GovTech, since it’s seen as the more logical option — better prestige and higher salary, which could help in the long term when job hunting. So was that decision made because I want it? Or because it felt more accepted and validated? At times, I caught myself second-guessing my decision — was I genuinely excited about GovTech’s work, or was I just after validation from others who saw it as “prestigious”?
Finding the right decision
Perhaps, to find the right decision, you have to remove the idea of how others perceive your choice from your own thought process. You have to ask yourself:
If no one knew what I was doing, what would I do?
Because we live in a noisy world — where family, friends, and even strangers will question your decisions — you may feel the need to justify yourself, and thus be swayed by their perceptions. That might lead you to make a decision that is socially approved, but not necessarily right for you.
For example, if you’re presented with an option to start your career at a big tech company versus a startup, it’s easy to go for big tech. It’s perceived as the logical option because
- People say it’s better to start at a bigger company so you can later move to a startup with better leverage, and
- You get great benefits and can learn from the best.
People won’t question that decision — your choice is validated by others, which makes it feel like you made the “right” decision. It’s almost like decision-making converges on what is more socially acceptable.
Looking back, however, a decision that wasn’t perceived as the norm was when I chose to intern alone in Stavanger, Norway. I recall having to “defend” and justify this to many people, because they couldn’t grasp the logic behind it. They pointed out that
- I was alone
- Stavanger wasn’t in a major city, so I wouldn’t learn as much.
But it turned out to be one of the best decisions I’ve ever made — though I definitely questioned it many times after committing.
Yet, is it really correct to ignore everyone else and just do your own thing?
Probably not. After all, tapping into collective wisdom can help you see blind spots and ensure you’ve considered all the pros and cons. In many cases, following the more widely accepted route does lead to better outcomes, because it’s “well-tested.” In addition, that’s how we learn as well, since these advices are coming from those with more experience and knowledge. But then again, they are not you, so it will never be a 100% fit.
So what is the right decision? As you may have guessed it, there probably isn’t. You won’t really know the future so you can only trust your instincts and worry less. Like Steve Jobs said in his 2005 Stanford commencement speech:
You can’t connect the dots looking forward; you can only connect them looking backward
You just have to trust it.
However, does this mean you can’t do anything?
I don’t think so. I have a small tip that might help. Since there are usually two decisions at play:
- The one you personally want
- The one that’s more socially approved.
We can try to break it down.
If both align, that’s perfect! You can be fairly confident you’ve made the right decision at this moment (given that no one can see the future), and then just worry less.
If they’re different, ask yourself if you can afford to make the riskier, less conventional choice — the one you really want, perhaps. Take the example of the fresh grad choosing between big tech or a startup as their starting career. If you’re in a more privileged position, for instance, maybe money isn’t as big of a concern, and you don’t have to support anyone else financially. In that case, you can consider taking the risk and follow what you personally desire. If you can’t afford that risk, it is still okay to choose the safer option until you reach a point where you can comfortably pursue those other paths!
So for those who are more privilege, make the best out of this unfair advantage and take that leap of faith.
I recently faced a similar dilemma but for a less serious context. In my final semester, I got an internship offer but was torn between accepting it or doing nothing career-related for these last few months. Since I was fortunate to have a job offer already secured and was lucky enough to be financially okay, I chose the latter. There are times when I worry, of course — an internship could be helpful in the long run, and with all the negative news about the tech sector and possible rescinding of job contracts, it does stress me out. In addition, I also had to justify to my friends and family multiple times on this decision because they don’t quite understand why I’m not “making better use of my time.”
But who knows? I’m probably wrong but I think life is too short not to experience something different. I’ve done internships a few times and will possibly be doing software engineering for a large part of my life, so why not try to experience something new for a bit?
Conclusion
Ultimately, we’ll never know if a choice is “100% correct.” The real value lies in aligning decisions with your personal values, available resources, and timing — while staying aware of the subtle influences from external voices. Sometimes, the “right” decision will align with social norms; other times, it won’t. Either way, it’s your life and your journey.
Trust yourself, stay curious, and don’t look back!
I hope this article has been somewhat helpful. Thanks for reading! I’m curious to hear your thoughts and how do you make the right decision?
