A Self Reminder To Explore, Future Me
Explore without expectations, in all its forms, big or small.
Having turned 25 recently, I asked myself: When do I feel the most alive during these 25 years? These are the moments I hope to recreate as often as possible, to make life more fulfilling and meaningful.
Since I was 18, I have been on a hunt for my life’s purpose, inspired by friends who knew they wanted to be doctors from a young age, or by celebrities who knew they wanted to be directors or academics. As the years went by, I slowly realized that maybe it’s okay not to have a burning passion in a certain area, and that it is still possible to live a vibrant, meaningful life without it. This brings me back to the question I asked myself on my 25th birthday: What makes me feel the most alive during this quarter of a century?
Exploration. Exploration in all its forms: big and small.
I feel the most alive during my year overseas in Stavanger, Norway, and Atlanta, Georgia, United States. I feel the most alive when I’m exploring Singapore’s park connectors on a Saturday with my brother. I feel the most alive when I’m struggling to pick up urban sketching during my final semester of university. When I take a different route to work, when I try a different stall’s Ice Milo, or even when I’m struggling to handle stress at work.
I feel alive when I’m trying something new, something different — be it a bad or good experience. Truth is, how bad can it be? I’m lucky enough to be in a situation where most of the decisions I make don’t have a huge impact on others, but mainly on myself. That’s a blessing, a sign to continue to explore and experience life.
I get overwhelmed by work at times, but when I look back a few days later, it usually comes off as: damn, you packed so much experience — stress, anxiety, relief — in a short time. I’d rather have experienced it than not at all.
Or like when I squeeze in a late-night run with my friends around Singapore’s river at Marina Bay Sands on a Thursday, followed by a meal at the iconic clock tower at Lau Pa Sat, washing down the week’s fatigue with ice-cold sugar cane. It gives me a feeling that life is worth living, even if there isn’t much long-term benefit. It doesn’t bring wealth, and I’m not acquiring a new skill for its own sake.
But isn’t that the point? To accumulate memories and experiences? To me, that’s what matters. And I’ve learned that the best way to do this is to set your mind and just do it. Don’t look back, don’t think about what you could be doing instead, and don’t compare yourself to what others are doing. Sometimes, it’s easy to get caught up in comparing: whether it’s wealth, achievements, or even happiness — but that only distracts you from living your own life.
If life is a competition, then the winner is the one who lives the happiest life on their own terms. Ironic, right? At the end of the day, you may have nothing, but if you die happy, didn’t you win the race against someone who had everything but died unhappily?
And maybe that’s what life is: to keep exploring and experiencing, in all its forms, big or small. So yes, future me, do continue to explore life :)
